


Fuck, jobs

by plantegg



Category: Free!
Genre: Drunk Nanase Haruka, M/M, Police Officer Matsuoka Rin, the samezukas are all police officers too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 18:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3579189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantegg/pseuds/plantegg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Rin and Haru meet because Haru gets drunk and breaks into an aquarium and Rin is the police officer that picks him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck, jobs

**Author's Note:**

> i know nothing about police procedure and getting arrested because im like twelve and ive never been arrested and im too lazy to research dont judge me for any inaccuracies please

It was never a good time to pick up drunk and disorderlies from the aquarium.

Rin had lost track of the number of times he’d had to deal with a crazy tourist that’d chugged half a bar and decided it was time for a dip in the  _fucking shark tank_. Of course, he’d played scissors paper rock with Sousuke to see who would have the privilege of rescuing today’s miscreant from themself, and, because the universe hated him, he’d lost, and was now finding himself pushing his way into the Sydney Aquarium and smacking right into Nitori.

"Sergeant! Be careful!"

"Nitori, you don’t have to call me sergeant. Rin is a lot easier to say. And I’m going to be fine, I’ve dealt with this before."

Momo surged up and looped an arm around Nitori’s shoulder, which made him blush and Rin very uncomfortable. “Seriously, sarge, listen to Nitori. This guy’s a huge weirdo.”

"After dealing with you two and Sousuke, I’m pretty sure I can handle weird people." He stepped past the pair, brushing off Momo’s complaints and wondering if it was really appropriate for members of his squad to be dating. Seriously, if Nitori got hurt, he was coming for Momo’s ass. Not that he wouldn’t come for Nitori’s ass if he hurt Momo, but that was less likely. Or was it? He’d seen Nitori angry before and he- Wait, holy  _shit_ what the  _fuck-_

_Is that a mermaid?_

Obviously not, it turned out, but the mistake was easy to make. The man pouting at the other officers was everything that mermaids from fairy tales were, beautiful, angry, naked-

_Wait, what?_

"Where the hell are his clothes?"

"He took them off to feel the water better."

Rin turned his eyes to the direction of the voice and found a trio almost as weird as the dude from the tank.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. He does that. He’s a pretty weird drunk."

The blonde guy next to the tall guy he’d been talking to started absolutely cacking himself, to the disapproval of the person next to him who looked kind of like an overgrown scene kid.

"Nagisa, don’t laugh! This is serious!"

"It’s hilarious!"

"Haru’s going to get arrested!"

"No, he’s not. We’ll take him to the station and let him out when he sobers up. The aquarium doesn’t usually press charges for this kind of thing."

"This happens a lot?" Tall guy asked, in the tone of someone who was completely done with the universe.

"Yeah. I’ll go take him in now. You can come pick him up in the morning."

"That might not be a good id-"

Ignoring him, Rin went to assist Kazuki and Uozumi with who he assumed to be Haru.

Haru, surprisingly, was managing to elude both of them, slipping out of their grasp and pushing them away. “Careful with this one, boss,” Kazuki grunted, attempting to grab Haru and failing, “He’s a slippery bastard.”

As Haru was distracted by Kazuki, Rin grabbed a firm hold on his forearm. Haru turned to shove him off, but instead became completely still, his gaze locked on him.

"Nagisa," he said calmly, trailing his eyes over Rin’s uniform, "Why is there someone from your work here?"

Tall guy and scene kid went completely red as Nagisa, apparently, went into an even deeper fit of laughter.

"Oh my God, Haru," he gasped out, "He’s not a stripper! He’s a policeman!"

"You think I’m a stripper?!" demanded Rin, as Uozomi tried to contain his snorts. Haru’s hand was suddenly trailing up his face, round the back of his neck, and pressing their foreheads together.

"Yeah. You’re really pretty. What’s your name?"

"Um. I’m going to need to take you to the station." Rin said, trying and failing to peel Haru off of him.

"You look like the girl from the little mermaid. Ariel. Why did you give up your tail for legs?"

"What the  _fuck-_ ”

"Actually." Haru ran his hand down the back of Rin’s neck, across his back and,  _holy shit,_ grabbed his ass. “If you have this,” he breathed into Rin’s ear, “It doesn’t matter that you gave up swimming.”

Uozumi stopped trying to hold his laughter back as Rin growled, completely red, and finally managed to flip Haru around and cuff his hands together in front of him.

Nitori chose this moment to enter and add to the chaos.

"Rin! Are you okay?!"

Haru turned his head back to Rin. “Your name is Rin? That’s a pretty name. Rinrin.”

"Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to come with me."

"Rinrin, I’m Haru. But you can keep calling me sir. It’s sexy."

"Haru!" Scene kid was almost in tears. Rin could understand the feeling.

"I’ll go with you, Rinrin." Haru smiled lazily, and somehow managed to grab Rin’s hand. 

"You can head on back with loverboy by yourself, Rin. He won’t listen to the rest of us." Said Kazuki, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

"Whatever." Rin growled, grabbing Haru’s surprisingly strong hand back and yanking him out of the aquarium.

Haru was full of questions on the way back to the station.

"Do you swim?"

"I used to."

"I’m a swimmer. I don’t like the water in the Olympic Park pool, though. It’s boring. I like the ocean, but Makoto won’t let me swim in it in the winter. The aquarium was the closest thing I could find. That was why I was in there. The dolphins were pretty. Not as pretty as you."

"Do you ever shut up?"

"Do you still like to swim?"

"Yeah. I don’t train as hard as I used to, but I still swim a lot."

It was lucky that they’d stopped in the parking lot of the police station, because Haru chose that moment to loop his cuffed arms over Rin’s neck and pull their heads close together. 

"You’re perfect."

"What?"

He leaned further in, so Rin could feel his breath on his face. That should have disgusted him. Why wasn't he disgusted?

"So perfect."

"No, I'm not, I promi-"

Haru pushed him back in his seat and crushed their mouths together.

As Haru was drunk and Rin had no fucking idea what was going on, they weren’t as coordinated as they could have been. Haru’s mouth was sloppy and wet and gross and  _good,_ and Rin moaned in a way that was high pitched and incredibly embarrassing.

Haru’s breath ghosted across his skin as he pulled back. “You’re perfect. Don’t ever think otherwise.”

Rin tried to protest, tried to let him know that he was anything except perfect, but was stopped by Haru going in for round two.

After a good five minutes of his brain disappearing to be replaced by his dick as what was in charge of his body, he realized that maybe he shouldn’t be kissing someone who firstly, was naked, secondly, was drunk, and thirdly, had just been arrested by him.

He tried to move away, but Haru’s mouth followed him, and he became dangerously close to having his rational thought go on a vacation again. He scrolled through his mind desperately, trying to stay logical and stop himself from continuing to kiss Haru.

In what was perhaps not the most brilliant move, he sunk his teeth into Haru’s lower lip.

While it did make Haru pull back for a second, it also made his breathing lot harder, which was probably not a good sign.

"Do that again."

Rin turned red before ducking out of Haru’s hold, unclipping his seatbelt, and tumbling out of the squad car.

"No. Nope. Time to get you inside." He walked to Haru’s side, unlocked his door, and pulled him out, wrapping his jacket around his waist to protect his modesty (and the eyes of anyone who happened to be walking past) and wondering if Haru had been wearing a seatbelt at any point.

"Fine. G’night, Rinrin." Haru smiled up at him again before leaning heavily on his arms and closing his eyes. Rin rolled his own eyes before pulling him up and carrying him into the station. 

The next day, Sousuke gave him back his jacket with a shit eating grin that had been mirrored by his entire squad, even Nitori. In the pocket, there was a note.

_"Call me, Rinrin. Or just catch me at the aquarium again."_

Even as he growled, Rin couldn’t help but think that maybe drunk and disorderlies at the aquarium weren’t that bad.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this like forever ago and i was gonna put it on here as well as tumblr but i just remembered now so here you go have it i cleaned it up a little  
> speAKING of tumblr if you wanna read more of my stuff for some reason sometimes i put stuff over there that i dont put on here my urls rinmatsuokka meme me up  
> also side note please dont try this irl drinking isnt good for you and you will not be picked up by a hot cop that will make out with you and bite you you will go to jail and you will be sad


End file.
